CEREBRAL for  THE PEOPLE
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Me in the Wheel-der-ness: Psalms from the Palsy Journey

Poetic reflections on faith, pain, and perseverance living with cerebral palsy in the wheel-der-ness.

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Chapter 1

Imported Transcript

Claire Brooks

Me in the Wheel-der-ness

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Dedication I dedicate this book to my Heavenly Father And my earthly father

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In Loving Memory

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NO_CONTENT_HERE

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Acknowledgments I acknowledge Mother Earth And the mother of my birth

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Jacquelyn A.Smith

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preface

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I am waiting To run Into the sun Yeah before Earth is done With “this one” I will not be… Still Yeah, Master Pull me out Of “This disaster “ But Father, while Your child” Is Waiting and anticipating Please fill my heart With laughter Yeah, in Jesus' name With no shame Amen To Your Plan <u>DAY 2</u> So here i sit

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On a mountain In my mind The rocks seem fine And so does the waterfall Through it all And as for me Well, let’s see I just woke up So at least I have a reason laugh In this blesseth luck

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Day 2=nights</u> It’s dark And my heart Is Sad I miss my dad And what we never had Yeah. i feelin’ bad Because i can’t walk it off Yeah. i feel really lost But God is The Boss

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God I swear There is nothing fair About nightmares, Yeah, i don't care To have them anymore Yeah the internal war Makes my insides Score To the core Me Yeah, FATHER Can’t see? I don’t wanna be In a scary R, e.m. movie Yeah, i don’t want to Scream in my dream view <u>DAY 4</u> MAN Another nightmare night God this can’t be right Yeah, i yearn to learn Your insight Yeah, why so much fright? <u>Day 5</u> Thank you, God, For the gift of expression

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And thank you, God, For all the heart lessons

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FATHER My flesh Failed the test I must confess But You Are still faithful Yes, you are By far The BEST Yeah, even when I don’t get A good night’s rest <u>DAY 7</u> So there i was Because God put me Yes, i swear I must not compare Myself to a square Yeah because God love Is So round Yeah, he wipes the tears Of a clown

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Authority on Earth holy trinity Lower me down To the ground Yeah. just let me walk around In the woods Yeah Feeling good And able Yeah Lord Can i get? My spiritual candle Lit And sit At your table Yeah With A fuzzy navel On the side Yeah Man Can I ride? And be your bride Inspired by my life and Mark 2

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Eee (Eve’s Eden and Earth) Woman I see apples I see grapes Yeah see i hope On a rope Or fate On a vine Which is fine And all mine For all time Yeah come rain Or come shine Yeah but only if… I walk blind With God And Adam But how? As a child Wow, I just can’t fathom This Yeah Vaper This mist, Or This kingdom Kiss Which is…

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My life On Earth Yeah My breath My birth That thirst For more… Freedom to soar

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OVER 2000 MILLS Man Over 2000 Mills I have rolled And bared my soul in the cold cerebral, Yeah For the people I have Paused For the cause Of Christ Yeah My life Has been A slice Of Sour And Power Yeah Every Other Hour

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It seems But I still have dreams That scream So meaningful Yeah Like gold At the end Of A strong Gust of wind Or A rainbow With Blood flow

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DETERMINATION God determines My steps Yeah As i weep In the streets Of the wheel-der-ness my feet Are still real blessed In this test And trial Yeah Even though I may move Slow God’s glow Flows Like a river Through my liver And my heart Well, actually Every single part Of me God’s starts And finishes Yeah With no blemish

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Inspired by my life and Proverbs 16

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ANOTHER 7 YEARS God I’ve been rollin’ For so… long Yeah Tryin’ to hold on And stay Strong Yeah Through The wrongs And the rights Yeah through The Days and nights Of Highs And lows, Yeah The plants And the grows That only Father You know From head to toe Yeah

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Inside and out You know How my blood flows Inspired by my life and Genesis 29

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TORN TENDONS (AHHH) GOD Why must i? Continue to wrestle in the wheel-der-ness Yeah, why must i? Continue to be Put to the test Of lack and less Yeah Father Where is? The bless- Ing Yeah That you Are Supposed to bring Me To sing about Yeah Yahshua Where is? The reason So i can Joyfully Shout Out Lous Yeah

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Regardless Of No crowd In sight To clap Or Give me likes Inspired by my life and Genesis 32:22-30

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God’s Nature Valley I hear the trees Yeah I hear The leaves Blowing in the breeze Yeah It sounds like a sneeze But please believe Nature is blessing me Yeah Internally As well as What i can? Physically See On this land Or In front of me, Yeah A reality Of Sounds On the grounds Of God Yeah The wheel-der-ness

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Has words Like birds But only The lonely spirits Of Man can understand

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Situation Father How did i get in this situation? Yeah. why did you put me in this nation like this? Yes, Lord. I exist But I feel like… A cracked nut Or Some flesh That got cut Down to soon But Father Please make room For me In your tomb Or put me back In my mother’s womb, Yeah Since you know me Before then Yeah Yashsua Erase my sins And begin again Yeah Because This is…

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To wild For your child

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MATTERS INTO MY OWN HAND Father I know this is your land And Father I know these are ,your plans But sometimes My mind Doesn’t understand So i take matters into my own hands Yeah even if breaks my heart And i have to start over Shoulder to shoulder With you Boulder to the boulder I will get through To the new promise land And stand Strong for a long Time Yeah Like fine wine On a vine Of Sunshine (son-shine) And Rain (reign)

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Inspired by my life and Number 13, 14, and i5

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My Ten-stringed Harp My ten fingers Linger On keyboard For the kingdom Yeah For a reason And a season Yeah No teasin’ Just Talent And balance In a band Of brothers And sisters Like no other Orchestra Every seen Yeah Jesus’s dream Or Jesus’s jazz In brass So yeah Play-on Playa From the Himalayas Of Heaven To Earth

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Or Write-on Poet Like u know it And jus’ sho’it Inspired by my life and Psalms 144

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Wander-ing Through the Wheel-der-ness So i’m wondering Through the wheel-der-ness Yeah Tryin’ to find Peace of mind Yeah A.k.a My best self Or My next breath Left behind By The Son-shine Of Mankind Yeah But my faith is… blind As a bat Yeah Imagine I can still hear The Truth And The Facts Of Life Through The Spirit Of Christ

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Inspired by my life and Exdous 14

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Cerebral NOT SO Palsy Damn My damage Dome Won’t leave me Alone Yeah I just wanna rest And go sit on the throne With the best Yes Jesus The one And only biblical Son Who did not run No He walked But Flew like a hawk And bought me time On Earth Yeah Like the sun Will always stand Still And shine For all of

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mankind Yeah New birth New thirst New hunger New wonder

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I Still Am Shepherd I am still Your sheep Yeah even in The wheel-der-ness

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Where i rest And yearn To hear your best Yeah clear In my spiritual ear Yeah like a deer I thirst For water Or A daughter That hungers for A loving verse From her father Yeah as i sit Along this harbor

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To STAND on the Highest Point of the Temple God You know That i have a dream Inside of me That screams So loud Like crowd To stand Like man Or To walk Like a woman Coming out of the water Yes Father I dream To be A normal daughter From the sea Yeah Keeping Chr,ist Company yeah Like the clouds Stars And moon Yeah In perfect tune With the birds

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And The Word Inspired by my life and Matthew 4:5

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All of the Kingdoms of the World (part 1) Man This land Is God’s plan Yeah Every finger That lingers Or Every toe That grows Or Steps In the mud Yeah Even After A human Has cause A pause Or a flood Gate Of hate But

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Wait There Is Some Great Love yeah In a dove’s Eyes, Yeah No lie In the sweet By and by Inspired by my life and Matthew 4:1-8

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Away from me, Saran!”

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Away from me, Satan! Yeah Because i am not your fair maiden No I am God’s beautiful bride So yeah, Hater Step aside Yeah So him i Can ride Into the sunset Or Glide In the sea Of Galilee Yeah With the possibility Of Me Getting wet Yeah But if so I know There will be A big fisher’s net

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Yeah To get to The better part Of God’s gospel start Inspired by my life and Matthew 4:1-11

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This is the way, walk in” “This is the way, walk in” Yeah fellow me And finish Yeah even in blemish Of being menance This society Follow my hollow Variety Yeah all over The gloves Of God’s Garden Yeah Even though Your heart is so hardened I will make your loss Seem so soft Yeah When you toss your sin to the side Ans ride off into the sunset Inspired by my life and Isaiah 30

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Get up and eat” (9/12/2022) Hey Daughter I set a sweet treat At your feet So yeah “Get up and eat” Yeah After you sleep Your worry blues away Yeah Because My-Love Tomorrow is another day So just lay And pray Yeah Because it will all be okay Yeah Because I am the potter To your clay Of Life Yeah i created Your birth Your thirst Earth And Paradise,

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Yeah So be Nice And eat twice Inspired by my life and 1Kings 19

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Proclamation Proclamation As i sit in this pit Waiting for God’s light To turn on i am made strong In my longsuffering Yeah God is My covering In the storm Of Cold And warm Or Should i say Hot as hell Or well as water For better wordplay I am a daughter Just like her farther Yeah I Am The pearl To his harbor

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7 X BRIGHTER Father Your Lighter is Seven times Brighter Than any star Or any animal car Known to man Yes Lord Your Plan Stands Higher Than any mountain Or any fountain Of Water For a thirsty daughter Such as myself Yeah Messiah I need your wisdom I need your breath

Oliver Hart

25-33

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Worship the Lord your God” Part 1 “Worship the Lord your God” Yeah When your life Does not look Like Christ Exist At all Yeah Even when It feels like… You are about to really fall Into a pit Or Get sick Yeah Still, lick Your wombs And sing Yourself A tune With every single… breath Left To fill The room Or The world

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Girl Yes Forget your stress And just… Realize Yeah Like a surprise That you are… Blessed Inspired by my life and Matthew 4:10-23

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Worship the Lord your God” Part 2 YES I love him Sink or swim Yes Even when My days Are filled With greys I still Worship With real Praise Yeah As i star gaze In amazement Yeah Searching for mare… Pavement In this war Of This world Yeah This girl Loves To twirl Around

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With the squirrels And just… Acted a whole nut But You know what? I don’t care Yeah Because He is… Always here Or There Yeah Wherever i am

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All of the Kingdoms of the World (part 2) Man This child Is Wild Yeah Some many Different Styles Trials And Triumphs Yeah Humps And bumps Or Mountains And Fountains O my But I Will Still Do Until

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I Die Inspired by my life and Matthew 4:1-10

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The Leader-Ship Man My flesh Is The wheel-der-ness And My spirit Is The Promise Land Now, what am i sayin’? I shouldn’t be playin’ With quicksand Yeah when God can Pull me out And make me stand Yeah, And make me scream And shout And fight for my dreams Yeah While messy Or clean Yeah

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So Christ Please send This For my life A float For Your friend or A boat For Your friend Or Some Freshwater For Your Daughter Inspired by my life and Matthew 4

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TAKE 5 Sometimes In my mind, I withdraw Like an outlaw Yeah Paw to paw I claw Into the wild Like a child Yeah For miles and miles My stomach growls But Guess what? I don’t care Yeah Because I’m in the woods Feelin’ good And in deep prayer Yeah I’m aware Of The unfair And Of All The hurt there

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And Here too But the sky Is so high And blue Inspired by my life and Luke 5:16-25

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JESUS is YOU

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Inspired by my life and Luke 2

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Sitting Among the Teachers Sitting among the teachers I listen to many preachers But I only follow God’s heart Yeah my physical parts Started Because of his love Yeah Doves fly high In the sky Because of his vocal reply Yeah Do or die Breath or believe Yeah Because of him I will achieve Blood on my sleeve And blood on my body But not for being naughty But for being nice And why? Because i Am God I am Christ Inspired by my life and Luke 2:41-52

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The Command on my Cerebral Daughter Walk in the body I gave you Yeah Walk in the body I saved for you, Yeah Go through Whatever I tell you To pursue Yeah Old and new Yes Every single test Is Blessed Yes If i so Myself And why? Because My-Love It is I Who gave you breath And no man Or strange land Can change

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That fact Yeah so, Whether you go To the right Or to the left You won’t be going Or flowing By yourself, Yeah Until your body’s death I got your back Inspired by my life and Isaiah 30

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Walking in Jerusalem wIth Jesus One day Someway Somehow I will Smile Like a child In the wild Of Jerusalem And She will Smile Back At Me Yeah And Nations Will See He Who Walks And Flies Like a hawk

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and never lies Like a human Yeah That we Yeah Him and me Will be Doing In this mist Of The kingdom’s kiss And the ruins Inspired by my life and Isaiah 35

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I am Jerusalem Lord Please lower My knees To the ground And speak To weak Of my bones Yeah something Profound So i won't feel So alone Yeah When i roam Home To Heaven Yeah Where All that is fair And new Yeah Everywhere I turn No one Burns Yeah Lesson learned

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Jerusalem Inspired by my life and Isaiah 40

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Ring, Ring, Ring Ring, ring, ring In the wheel-der-ness I hear the calling Of So many things That brings me To King Yes Lord I sing Your praise In the path of my pain Yeah I know You reign Overall the grains And Overall the hearts Of The harvest, Yeah You are The Water For this daughter So let's go Baptize me In the River ofJordan, Baby Yeah So i can hear You

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And clearly see Your view On a daily Inspired by my life and Matthew 3 I Am Hungry Lord I am hungry In the natural sense But it is… Evident That i wasn’t Sent On Earth For A normal birth Or A regular thirst Of Water No, Devil Don’t bother Me With grain Pain Or Shame Yeah Because My name is… Everything Positive Yeah That’s why i

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live Inspired by my life and Matthew 4

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With The Light of Day Christ Please take this clay And warm me up With the light of day Okay? Yes Lord This i pray And say Out loud With no crowd Present Yeah While feeling Like An adolescent Or A child In the wild Trying to smile As i cry And die On the ground Yeah I’m not lost But i want To be… found

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GRAVESIDE SERVICE (part 1) Father As i sit here Yeah With feelings Still not clear You are so In my ear Yeah Like a deer Drinking water Straight from The Son’s Hand Yeah Man Does fully understand Your plan On this land Can And Can not Yeah Yahshua The weather is cool But the ground is hot

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GRAVESIDE SERVICE (Part 2 Father This is daughter, Yeah This is your child In the wild Flower Power, Yeah So bring on A strong Shower Of Grace Yeah Jesus Please let me… Taste And see your… Face Honey But not for… Money But for Manna Yeah Some real

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Spiritual food For my mood Wild Gazelle My spirit moves Like a wild gazelle But my body .is Between Heaven And Hell So yeah Father Please tell me Your daughter-child Where to go From here And with no fear In my path, Yeah Christ Show me A different life And a clear Photograph Yeah Lord Make me laugh And cry Yeah Until the day I die In the war Of the world Inspired by my life and 2 Samuel 2

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This Branch Father Take this branch To write down My rants And raves Yeah Before Heaven’s doors Opens And my body Enters a graves Of Slaves And not saints Yeah I can Move like man But i ain’t Yeah No Because My Love My spiritual tank Is So full That it pulls Me Like a bull

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In a hard Yeah Fathers Your Branch Your Daughter Hangs On every Slang Of Your Word

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THE GENESIS Man I jus’ wanna Take a walk in the woods Yeah, and jus’ get lost In all of the good That is God Yeah, whose voice worked so hard To create a brand new start Of Hearts And other useful parts On this planet Yeah, access granted Adam & Eve So jus’ go and believe In yourself Yeah Breath by breath And lung by lung Yeah Lord I jus; wanna walk And not run

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SHERWOOD Sherwood Please make me feel good Where Jesus stood If you could Yeah If you care Up there In the air Yeah Where life is fair And has no snare In my hair Or In my clothes I suppose But only Heaven Really knows How this Earth thing Really goes Or How God’s child The Arkansas River Really flows Through my toes

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North Little Rock (part 1) So here i sit In Noah’s ark Yeah tryin’ not to Part The Red Sea Which is me Literally In a wheelchair Yeah Feelin’ like… Life isn’t fair And Christ doesn’t care About where i am In this dam Of Mayhem Yeah as slam My head Into this little rock I think about… How Jesus bled Non-stop Yeah, in hopes Of loosing Ropes And gathering crops Yeah

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In the field Of Hard knocks

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North Little Rock (part 2) Man My wheelchair Doesn’t float Like a boat But i hope It still Gets me Free And Closer To The Almighty’s Beautiful view Yeah Where Everything Is Fair And New Yes Lord I will Still Pursue You In the Red White and Blue Sea,

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Yes Yashua Trust me

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The Arkansas River God You told Noah To build An ark Yeah Before he saw Any signs Of Rain Or Felt any pain From the bible belt Yeah Before Jesus wept In-depth And kept On moving And grooving Through The gospel Of You Yeah Where All Is Safe And

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With Your grace

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Yes Lord Your daughter Tastes Your fresh And Best water Yes Father I fear no more War in my core Yes i will Soar Over the shore Of The South Inspired by my life and Genesis 6, 7 and Isaiah 43

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MY BOOK of EXODUS Oh God I’m so ready To turn the page On my rage Yeah Father Your daughter Is so ready To exit the stage Of This caged life Yeah because Cerebral Palsy Is Not love Yeah Yahshua It feels Like real Borderline hate Yeah, which is not so great For my emotional state Yeah so point me to the heavenly gates Of Earth Yeah give me a fresh new birth Or a new shore to search for Or another bush To push out of the way Day by day

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For wordplay

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My Palsy Psalm Lord As i sit In the pit Called a wheelchair I swear I need to know Which way to go And that you care About me so m,uch Yeah Down to every single touch Yeah Every single part Of my heart Yeah Father, please stand guard For the daughter That works so hard To please You Yeah Even after All of the hurtful laughter I hear In my ear Or All of The dirt

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I go through I still will To pursue Something new And Old At the same time Yeah That’s why I wrote This rhyme Inspired by my life and Psalm 143

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Crooked Letter Father. I’m writing this letter Yeah. in hopes that i would feel better First Yeah. even though i thirst For You I hunger for a crew To belong to Yes In this wheel-der-ness Where i feel… Really stressed And Really blessed At the same time Yeah Sunshine and moonshine Yeah What a low! What a high! But i will try Not to lie To You The sky Inspired by my life and The Book of Titus

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In Chains for The Gospel Hey Christ I do feel Like a real Prisoner In my life of palsy But i will Sit still For You Yes Through and through I will pray Everyday And say What You say Yay Until You welcome me Home! Inspired by my life and The Book of Philemon

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Dear Friends Dear friends Do not leave me when Trouble comes my way Yeah, please stay And pray Me through The gray Of Complacency Or The pain of my frame Yeah, life Is Not always A game Yeah Sometimes This lamb Needs to be Tamed By the dam And The Great I Am But don’t slam Me into the ground When i’m already Feeling down Because i have No bridal gown

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Inspired by my life and The Book ofJude

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WHEELCHAIR REPAIR So here i am In the wheel-der-ness Now Do i feel real blessed Or really stressed? Well, If i must tell The answer to both questions Is Yes But i will Still Pass the test And learn the lesson One day Yeah Rather the sky Is Blue or gray Yeah Come what may I will stay still Until I see The promise In front of me Inspired by my life John 11

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TRYIN’ 2 POP A WHEELY So here i am In the wheel-der-ness Damn Yeah tryin’ not slam My head Into a rock I hear my inner-clock But i can’t eat any bread No, because i have been led By the Spirit To fast From my past Desires Yeah, sure my flesh Is on fire But World. You can't test me When God has already blessed me For forty days and forty nights Yeah. by feeding me His insight By skylight Inspired by Matthew 4:1-11 and my life

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The Ride Of Correction Man I seek God’s love And affection Yeah When i really get weak Or stuck in the very scary And hilly streets Of depression Yes Lord Please teach me a lesson Of correction Yes Father Please help your daughter Get back On the right track Yeah Stack by stack Rock by rock I won’t still Until my will (wheel) Reaches the top Of Heaven’s clock Inspired by my life and Proverbs 12

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The Coin God is The head But i’m not The tail Yeah I’m the wish To His Well Yeah I’m the word That the people heard From the Holy One Yeah Jesus is the sun That done so well That even Hell Had to tell Someone Inspired by my life and Matthew 17

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Do you see this woman?” Do you see this woman? In front of you Or Do you just see? What she can do? And Can not do? But I tell you, My Brother Just like your mother She has virtue Too Yeah Despite her crew She is open To something new And Exciting Yeah She is very inviting To me But I ask you again My so-called friend What do you see? In this femininity Inspired by my life and Luke 7

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WILDBERRY PUNCH I see berries upon berries, Yeah In this scary Place i am in And my friends Are not here Yeah So i can hear God Real clear Yeah Rather he Is Near me Or Far Yeah Because He is Love And He is The star Of This show Or The top

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Disc jockey Of This radioactive

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IN THE WHEEL-DER-NESS of DREAMS In the begin Was the word And then came the birds And Adam’s frame But then A serpent Spoke Your Name And this world Was never the same Again Yeah Winds Pain Rain Shame Loss Tossed Mole Out of control Souls, Yeah souls Missed And souls Pissed But love Still exist

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In the wheel-der-ness

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GREAT in the KINGDOM of HEAVEN Father As i look From the mountains I wanna shout At the joy Of your baby boy Jesus Or Immanuel Yeah, the everlasting well Or The Man Isn’t ashamed To cry And who cannot lie Or fail Mmm, just smell that heavenly air Yeah, up here Where the sky is clear And I have no care in the world Yeah, i am a woman I am something I am a pearl Who is blessed And can rest In the loving arms Of God In a storm

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Inspired by Matthew 5 and my life

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SONG ofASCENTS God knows my dreams Yeah he hears my inner screams So clearly Yeah, he is near me Daily Yeah, When the world Goes crazy On your girl He adds sweetness To my bitter weakness Or chocolate to swirl Yeah no need to hurl Because God’s love Feeds me well Yeah Even the smell Draws me home Yeah Meaning I’m gleaming Because In His love I don’t feel so alone

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EASTERN STANDARD TIME Now as far As the East Is to The West Jesus is The standard And Yes He knows Best Yes Time Amd Space Is his Place Yeah Just like Mercy And grace Thoughts And taste In the wind And in the Earth, Yeah He is Birth He is

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Thirst He is First Through Twenty-four And More

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OVERLOOKING THE MOUNTAIN TOP Father I bleed Your creed So tell me What you need me to do Yeah As i move through Your view Of Old and new Testament Yeah, please Read Me my rights Yeah Lord Please Show me The light Yeah Even in the night Show me your choice Yeah Let me hear your voice Above all the noise In this nation Yeah Because

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You are Love And you created All generations

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CHURCH TABERNACLE Man There is a lot Mosses In me Yeah I am Anointed To set Others Free Yeah I have The kingdom key Yeah From sea To shinning Sea Yeah I have The gift Of Gab And The ability To just be Whatever God

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Needs Me To Be Yeah A branch Or A whole tree Inspired by my life and Exodus 40

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THE VOICE of THE LORD Good morning, my child it's okay to smile Yeah, I know That you have been going Through it For a while But you can do it Yeah, just stay fluent And congruent With My plan Yeah, not man’s Yeah, because These sands Are Mine My love Yeah, so fly High Like a dove In the sky But stay On Earth Yeah, work The reasons for your birth, Yeah, even if things get worse Still, put My Will first And drink From My sink Of peace

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And just release The grease of guilt Yeah that has built Up Yeah that has made you Wanna give up Or just chuck it up To just bad luck Inspired by Psalms 29 and my life

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ALL

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All i see Is the NorthStar And all i hear Is my uncle’s guitar And all my dreamed Scream to do Is to go far Yeah Bar to bar or Verse to verse While still keeping God First In my thirst Or In my quest For a good testimony Yeah No phony Here No. I must be Crystal clear In all that i do Yes, In all that i pursue In the glue

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Of This global Oval Office Called The world

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BEE Christ You stung me When you hung me On the cross With you But it’s okay I will be fine Yeah Because In a matter of time The sun will shine Like honey And milk Or Like silk Sheets Yeah One day I won’t feel So gray Nay I will feel Real complete Yeah No thorns No harm No nails Or

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No human hell Oh well At least I have Some laughs And a story To tell

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CEMENT LORD I’m in the woods And i still feel good Most of the time Yeah Because i have your word On my mind Yeah I’m fine With my blind Faith Yeah My mercy And my grace For my race And my taste For manna Is Like communion Yeah Father What are you doin’? To my soul Man, this world Is So cold

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DE-TOUR LORD I’m not sure On which way To go Or How to flow But i am Your sparrow On this narrow Road Yeah I am Your toad Lookin’ For an arrow Head Yeah Before I end up Dead Yeah Father Please send Your daughter Some bread Or Your queen