Chapter 1
Imported Transcript
Claire Brooks
cerebral palsy is
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cerebral palsy is
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chronic
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ironic
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and phonic
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yeah sometimes i sit here
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wondering who done it
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and why
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yeah while i still have will to try
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new things
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with my semi-broken wings
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and my dreams
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that seem so far away
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yeah like stars in the sky
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high and unreachable
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but cerebral palsy is
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is teachable
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well should i say
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that it has taught me to be
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humble
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yeah even when i stumble
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i shouldn’t crumble
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like a cracker
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or become a hacker
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like Satan
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yeah because he’s just waiting
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for me to fail
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and go to Hell
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cerebral palsy is... (part 2 cerebral palsy is
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feeble
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and evil
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and it hurts
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people
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in plain sight
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yeah from left
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to right
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rather you like it or not
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and it refuses to stop
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like a clock
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or a dime
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but will i lose my mind
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no
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because i choose to
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go
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on
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yeah fighting strong
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because i do belong
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here
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yeah this much is
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very clear
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to me
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so you see
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cerebral palsy is
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a lot of things
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because it can make
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or break
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kings and queens
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The Law ofPoetry
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I wanted to be a lawyer so bad
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But my heavenly dad said no
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Yeah he said poetry had a better flow
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So i let law go
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Without really knowing anything
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About the joy that poetry could bring
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Others
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Yeah produce lovers
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Of all types
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Yeah drop all kinds of insight
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In rhymes
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So i guess i’m fine
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And blessed
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For now
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Time Sensitive
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God talks to me
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And i write things down for him
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Yeah sink or swim
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Yeah whether i understand or not
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Yeah whether it comes off cold or hot
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I don’t stop
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Yeah because there is a clock
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On earth
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And it has been counting down
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Since my birth on this ground
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So no i cannot clown around
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For too long
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Yeah because i have a home
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To get to
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Called heaven
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And i don’t know
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How many mo’ elevens
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I have left
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40,000 days
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I see dawn
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So i see the sun
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And it looks like fun
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So i embrace it like a hug
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Or a warm mug of coco
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I don’t want to let go
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So i move slow
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Whenever i back away
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From the day
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That i was given of love
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Yes, from the lord up above
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Over 40, 000 days now
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But i have seen it over a thousand times
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A HARD WORKER
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we live in a circle
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we live in a cycle
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yeah in a world full of realist
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and idols
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at least from where i sit
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in this pit of pain
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but who is to blame
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me
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for letting people just walk over me
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and talk over me
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constantly
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with no empathy or sympathy
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in their voice
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or in their actions
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but i am the reason
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that certain things happen
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to me
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sadly
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and now i feel real badlused
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and bruise
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and all God seems to say is
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did you write for Me today
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MY PROFESSIONAL LOOK
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it seems like i keep on writing the same type of poems
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yeah causing myself emotion harm
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but why must i cry on paper
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well it’s better that i do now then later
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yeah before nightfall calls
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and a rooster crows
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because i know that means
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no more dreams
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another day has come
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when i see the sun
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but won’t be fun
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if i am still holding on
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to anger
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Like a hanger
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causing danger
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like a stranger
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to a child
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Which is wild
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like a wolf
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in sheep clothing
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SOME VERY TRUE
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STATEMENTS my brain is brilliant
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my heart is resilient
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my soul is whole
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because my GOD is real
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so i must trust him
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even when i can’tfind myfriends
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and my life looks dim
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or like skim milk
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his love is like silk
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yeah soft to touch
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a very much appreciate
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to a girl who often timesfeels abandon
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by many in this world
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and i have plenty ofpoems to prove it
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yeah my brain switches my pain into poetry
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and then ifeel like royalty
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which is what MY HEAVENLYFATHER says
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i am
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40,000 nights
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I see the moon
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Then i see my room
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Then i see my bed
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And then i rest my head
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But i do not go to sleep
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Yeah even though my body feels weak
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I am still woke
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Because my body is stressed
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I guess
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Or my body thinks that nights are a joke
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So i don’t poke the bear
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i swear
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No i just let God take care
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Of me
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From
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way
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up
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there
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The Sum of my Life
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So how do i sum up my life
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Well, i have rolled with the Devil
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And i have rolled with Christ
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Yeah hell and heaven
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Equally for me
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Yeah i am the root
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And the forbidden fruit
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Yeah that others are in pursuit of
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Yeah i am hate and love
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On a great plate of china
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but i am served in a diner
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With a suburb word on the side
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Yeah like a fortune cookie
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So let’s ride
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Or “let’s eat
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Because i am a treat
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Once you get to know me
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Walking through Earth
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My eyes have seen
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some horrible things
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my ears have heard
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Some very harsh words
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And my heart has felt
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Like real pain from a belt
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So yelp, i have wept
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Inside and out
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And some internal shouts
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That only God knows about
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Yeah because he has ordered my route
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From beginning to end
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Yeah in spite of my sin
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He is my friend
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So when i see him again
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I must say “thank you
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For bringing me through
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NO_CONTENT_HERE
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NO_CONTENT_HERE
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NO_CONTENT_HERE
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I see heaven i see my god i see my friend i see the beginning i see the end i see heaven in front of me
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yeah what a beautiful tree
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or better yet
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a garden
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my eyes are wet
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but there’s no tears here
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and no fears either
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yeah life is sweeter
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in heaven
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i see
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I hear music
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I hear jazz
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I hear my past
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I hear blues
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I hear good news
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I hear country
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And it sounds funky - cool
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Like my soul
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Yeah it makes me wanna lose control
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In the best way
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And makes me forget about yesterday
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Which makes me thanks about the Beatles
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And the sound of a record needle
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Or the click clack
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Of a cassette tape
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Yeah i feel great
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And cannot wait
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For the next sounds goin’ down
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In my head and in my heart
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Rock on
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40,000 Days
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Jesus died at 33
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But look at me
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I’m 40
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Man, that doesn’t make any sense
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Yeah i should've went
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first
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Yeah i should've took
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the curse
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for Christ
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Yeah i should’ve gave my life
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And fell down underground
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Yeah and then rise
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Or open up my eyes
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And surprise
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I’m alive again
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NO_CONTENT_HERE
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August 30,2017 MORNING DID COME I woke up again And so did the wind And did the sun So morning did come Which makes me want to run And tell someone “Hey you, get up” “And see what the Lord.” “For His kids.” Which is… Gave us another day Yes, gave us another chance to say … “Thank You August 31, 2017 MY EARLY WAKE UP CALL Okay, i woke again Because of the love of a very dear friend
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Yes, the calmer of wind And the washer of all sin So i wind i n a big way Because i woke up to see another day SEPTEMBER 1, 2017 C.P. R. SUPERSTAR God, you did it again Yeah you gave me wind Yeah, you gave breath And not death Yeah you left me on earth Because i still have worth Like my birth Yeah i still have thirst For you And hunger too So my skies are blue In the best way to day So i must say… Thank you again My very dear friend For breathing in Unselfishly Amen
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MUSIC REALLY DOES FOR ME September 3 2017 I’m listening to music Or is music listening to me? Well, either way, i feel free Yes free to write And think of a bright future Yes ever in the nighttime I feel fine Like aged wine Or an elderly kind woman Now ain’t that something? But it’s true Music doesn’t make me blue It helps me cope And leaves me high like dope But i don’t even smoke Because i don’t like getting choked Or being broke I’m just saying That i’m not playing Music really does it for me
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September 5, 2017 BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS Tears flow And i know why Because i grow On the inside But my soul can’t hide From this ride called life That sometimes cut like a knife In the butt But you know what? I grow When i bleed Yes my tears feed a purpose Far beyond the surface Which is my pain So let it rain SEPTEMBER 10, 2017 AM I DREAMING I feel strange I feel change In me And around me also But i really don’t why Do i want to cry? Or do i want to yell? I really can’t tell Is that a needle in my heart? Am i falling apart? Am i too guarded? Have even started my life Christ? Or am i dreaming
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SEPTEMBER 11, 2017 WHAT HAPPEN LAST NIGHT FLESH, YOU HAVE FAIL ME AGAIN YEAH FLESH, YOU MADE ME SIN WHEN YOU TALKED TO ME YEAH SAYING HOW HORNY I WAS AND BECAUSE OF THAT I WENT BACK…. TO MY OLD WAYS OF CHILD’’SPLAY AND NOW I FEEL DECAY BECAUSE I DIDN’T WALK AWAY OR PRAY AND SO TODAY I MUST SAY…. I’M SORRY GOD FOR DROPPING MY GUARD DOWN AND ACTING LIKE A FOOLISH CLOWN LAST NIGHT
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JACOB VS ISRAEL As i wrestle In my castle Called “my body“ I strangely feel holy and naughty At the same time Am i out my mind? Because i don’t feel fine I feel blind Yes my heart is walking in the dark But i am searching for a new start But it’s hard Because i am human Which means i am partly ruin But i am still pursuing God’s Promise Honest But i do need help And do wept in depth Because God’s love…. Has kept me Despite what His sight see Me Do
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Earthly Sometimes His light still shines On me Like a tree That needs to grow Some mo’ And so… I wrestle In my castle Like jacob vs israel WIN OVER SIN LORD, TAKE THIS LUSTFUL DESIRE AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE “ON FIRE” YOU WANT ME TO BE RIGHT? BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE? SO PLEASE TAKE IT LIKE A KITE TO THE SKY YEAH HIGH ‘ SO THAT I … CAN NOT SEE ANYMORE OR FEEL HOT… LIKE A WHORE OR LOWER THAN THE FLOOR MAN, MY INSIDES ARE SORE SO SCORE I MUST COME TO YOU YES, SO THAT YOU CAN SEE ME THROUGH LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO YES, BECAUSE YOU ARE TRUE ALWAYS YES, EVEN IN MY GRAYS OF SIN SO I WIN
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AMEN IN CHRIST NAME HELLO BELOW Hello below I don’t know why you love to mess with me so Much Why do you yearn for my touch? All the time Yeah, why do you play with my heart and mind? Which i kinda like But i know isn’t right in God’s sight Neither day or night So go fly a kite Or go take a hike Just get away from me quickly As though i have never had a below
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HELLO MOST HIGH HELLO MOST HIGH I DO I TRY YES I WILL UNTIL THE DAY I DIE IN THIS FRAME YES IN CHRIST NAME AMEN
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SEPTEMBER 19, 2017 EARTH’S PARADISE Death Breathe Life Man Woman Husband Wife Yeah just a slice Sugar and spice On earth’s paradise
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October 1, 2017 OUR GOD WILL FIGHT FOR US Our God will fight for us
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OCT 4, 2017 JUST TODAY Today is all i have Yes today is all i see But i see you And i see me And i see the almighty’s handiwork at work Yes in spite of … The lack of love… On the land Yes the Lord still reigns grand Over all The fall Yes because He was called To do so Yes He was called to flow Like a river But look like rainbow In the sky Yes beautiful and high Without a try Or a lie In his reply Yeah he just does Because that is just who he is
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DECEMBER 24, 2017 REMEMBER, DON’T TELL DEAR DIARY IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE YOU HEARD YOUR CHILD ME YEAH I BEEN KEEPING COMPANY WITH SOMEBODY OR JUST KEEPING THINGS TO MYSELF YEAH IT’S LIKE I HAVE BEEN HOLDING MY BREATH OR JUST CONTROLLING MYSELF BUT IF DEATH COMES I HAVE HAD FUN YES, BECAUSE MY SPIRIT HAS RUN WITH THE SON WHERE ALL GOOD THINGS COME FROM SO I HAVE BEEN FINE YES, BODY, SOUL, AND MIND I’M LYING, YOU SAY? ALRIGHT , OKAY NOT ALL TIME GOD STILL GAVE ME RHYMES THAT SAVED ME I JUST DIDN’T WRITE THEM DOWN LIKE A SAD CLOWN BUT I STILL LOVE YOU HONESTLY I DO AND I HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN WELL BUT REMEMBER, DON’T TELL
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JAMUARY 8, 2018 EDGY So here i stand At the edge of God’s plans Yeah i see His footprints in the sand Going ahead of me So i will be okay today As long as follow the flow of his imprint Yes which was heaven sent Yes, meaning no accident herte Yes, in spite of my fears And tears I can walk or climbing Because God didn’t leave me behind In this fine -line and grime Called Earth Yeah but since birth I have had worth And a very good launching pad Given to me by Spiritual Dad So this lad is very glad to be Edgy
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IT’S A GIFT My breath is a blessing My breath is a lesson Ready to lived And learned So i shouldn’t jus’ turn over in the bed ‘Yeah, ‘cause my head has oxygen Yeah powers and showers of God In me Yeah like the rivers and seas Or the brushes and trees So please breathe If you can Woman Man Yeah, ‘cause it’s not luck That we woke up It’s a gift That can’t be returned Or burned So enjoy Girls And boys
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January 10, 2018 ALL OF YOUR PERSONALITIES Fingers to keys Floor to knees And my spirit to my savior Will you do me a favor ? Just listen Yeah, please pay attention Because i have something very important to say today So no horseplay Or gray moods Because that’s very disrespectful and rude So soothe down clowns Yeah, please act like you have a crown Because actually my love, you do Yeah, put there by God and his invisible superglue So boo, what are you gonna do? Yeah, i’m talkin’ to you, monique And all of your personalities
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MY PRAYER LIFE June 7, 2018 Jesus take the wheel Or help me to be still Like water Because your daughter And i do desire your will While i am in this world Or on this earth Because i know that you are the reason for my birth So i thirst for you in this season Yrs i do No teasing So i am ready greasing Or molding Along with a little consoling And hand holding From you Yes i do Amen IN YOUR NAME
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June 20. 2018 Doubts & debts God, I do not understand, The way you work in my hand I thought your plan for me on this land Was for me to be a writer But obviously i must be… Wrong My money still doesn’t last long And i still don’t have my dream log cabin home But my spirit is still drawn to do your will So please Lord, help me kill This feeling of doubt And please wipe out my debt Or let me know what’s gonna on Or what i’m doin’ wrong Yeah this is my psalm today Sorry it sounds gray And not profound But Father, i’m down While you are up But do not wish me luck No bless me with bucks And send me wisdom From the kingdom In Jesus name I pray And say Amen
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June 21, 2018 GOODBYE OFFENCE I am offended But i am not long-winded Yeah i hold it all in And to God that is a sin So please Heavenly Father help my to begin again Yes Lord, please help me to let go Of things that have hurt me so Yes so i can flow like Yes, so i can a better daughter Honest and true Fresh and new Like the morningdew Or the moonlight at night So i cast my cares out like a kite In the sky So Goodbye offence
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Me and My Boxing Gloves Fear vs faith Mercy vs grace Yes these are the things i taste And feel on my face Like sauce Yeah sometimes i win Sometime i lost Yeah life cost Sometimes Yeah life isn’t for nothing But life isn’t for long So how ever i live… I must live strong 7/15/2018
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STANDING AT THE WELL God, please wash my brain And wash my pain away today Because being black and blue is not like you And i do wanna be more like you, Sir Yeah as it were in the beginning Before there was any sinning on Earth Yeah Daddy, take me back to birth Where you thirst for me in your memory And then, mold me in my mothe Cover to cover Lover to lover But My Brother, i need to repent from some deeds That don’t read right In Your Sight So yes i would like you to wash me, Lord Because i can’t afford to go to Hell That’s why i’m standing at The Well Demanding to be heal For real This time So please accept This poetic wept In All Your Names Amen
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July 25, 2018 SEEKING WEALTHY WISDOM God Why aren’t my finances here? Yes why is my banking account and my eyes crying tears I mean, for years i have poems and books But look, still no money Or my money is funny But i’m not laughing So Father i’m asking You what shall i do? Because obviously i am doing something wrong Yes Lord my heart’s song is not healthy And i’m wreathy But i am still willing And i am still giving But ny living doesn’t reflect that So please Lord take me back to Your Facts And Your Figures Before i turn to liquor Besides Your Way is probably quicker And for sure better Because i never wanna live backward again, My Friend In Jesus’ Name Amen
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August 15,2018 THE DOUBLE PORTION Father i give you my prayers And you give me Your word And together we fly off like birds Yeah an eagle and a hawk Or we can walk Like adam and eve Before the grief And disbelief Decayed what you made To prosper in the shade Yeah top A GRADE Yeah the ace of spade Which is the almighty Which is You Yeah the root And the fruit all rolled into one So it is written Yeah it is already done
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AUGUST 21, 2018 MAYBE IF I STAY SILENT Maybe if i stay silent My Savior will talk And maybe if i stay silent I will just begin to walk on my on Yeah way beyond my home No clone Just me Honestly With no accompany needed Yeah if i stay silent Maybe that would speed the process along Or at least give me some peace And make me strong Because something must be wrong With me talking positively Like the Pope Yeah with some hope And not just to cope Like some dope And i say this because Right now i don’t loved Yeah i feel real loss Yeah like i’ve been just tossed To then I’m woken up again Yeah as though God was saying “lets ride” Yeah “ swallow your pride” “and lets go” Yeah “there’s no time to wallow like a pig” “What’s done is did, my kid” “So be fruitful like tree” “And trust Me, “Totally” “Yeah even when you can’t see” “What it is I’m doing Baby Yeah, just don’t go crazy” “Or get lazy
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Okay” “Because one day” “Good things will come your way” “Yeah rather you stay silent or not
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HUMAN NO MORE I don’t wanna be.human But i am Nor do I wanna be disable Yeah i would love to be strong Like Clark Gable Or go home to Heaven And fly high like a dove 24/7 Because being like this Has got me pissed Yeah like i shouldn’t even exist on Earth Yeah my birth must’ve been a mistake Because i feel so much heartbreak But God keeps on waking me up For more But my core is sore And my soul is so weepy So body go to sleepy And let Your Savior Fix the behavior That’s holding you back Or keeping you in lack Yeah let the Lord remove the tack from your back Or clipboard So He can push you forward In Jesus’ Name Amen
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AUGUST 30, 2018 THE WRONG TYPE OF WEALTH God have i been sowing the wrong financial seeds? Because all i can see growing in front of me is weeds And i need more morey And not being funny Because my eggs are runny From lack Of people not paying me back Like they said they would And that’s not good So were You misunderstand? Yeah did i not understand Your Plan For me Concerning money Because obviously i’m missing something Because my bank account Has a negative amount So please tell me why Or how i went wrong Yes, in christ name i ask For a heavenly looking glass
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DEAR DIARY 2.0 Girl, You should write like No one’s gonna see it And then, my friend, Make sure ,everybody sees it Yeah, be fiery Diary All the the time No, don’t you ever edit yourself Or waterdown your rhymes Yeah breath is fine Like wine Or rootbeer Keep on writing exciting things Yeah strong and clear Is what other hearts Love to here My dear
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SEPT 2, 2018 I WELCOME YOU God i welcome sleep And i welcome deep So reach me And teach me To be More humble And not to crumble In this earthly society Yeah no more variety Just You So pull me through This sticky glue And then make me new again My friend Because i don’t want to sin Or pretend anymore Because my soul is so sore Yeah, like i’ve been in war Overseas So Father, please come in Like a calm wind On Palm Sunday And stay until a 1,000 Mondays Yes this i ask Before i pass In Christ Name With no shame Amen
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Sept 3,2018 TREASURE HUNT God, i’m waiting on my hundredfold Yes Father, i’m waiting on my pot of gold That you promised, me that would happen Captain If i lift and shift my head So where is my bread? From the blood You shed And the seeds i’ve sown Lord, i’m not too grown So i shouldn’t be left alone Am i wrong? But why do i still need things And why do i still have broken wings, my King? Yeah , please still me what i’m doing wrong in these seas Yes, please help me find the keys To my treasure Or please help me find the letter to better In jesus’ name Amen
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CROP SHOP Father, right now, my finances are sick So quick, heal it Yeah make it feel well Yeah, and make it flow like a well So i will have a story to tell Of Your Glory of course Yeah i long to ride the white horse Like a bride And then slide off like kid Because my Daddy, did that Yeah He brought my money back So no longer do i lack Or will i fall off track Again So Father when? Will the fed Ex truck roll in on me
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9-8-2018 MY VAULT/ MY VAGINA Man i wish that someone would french kiss Me Between my legs Yeah make me moan and scream At the beautiful wrong thing that is happening Down there Yeah you know where But no one care About making me shout For joy But oh boy How i wish they did Because i’m not a kid No i am a adult Who wants to feel the trill Of something very real But also very wrong Because i am also still very alone Yeah meaning not married Not dating Or not even waiting Just single with tingle I mean yes i wish i could mingle But no one seems to share my dreams Of love or relationship So i slip into thoughts of lust And trust that i won’t get caught But even God has the key to open me
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SEPT 25. 2018 MAN, I THOUGHT SHE WAS THE BEST Man. i wish she would call I wish she cared I wish was here And not there Yeah it’s not fair ‘Cause i do care And she knows this But her will is to still… blow this friendship off Or is my heart just soft?” Man, i feel so lost Yeah this friendship has really cost me something But was it all for nothing? Because i meant what i said Yeah i shared my heart And my head But instead i’m alone While she goes on like nothing is wrong But something is wrong with us Yeah i have lost trust Even though i still have love But obviously she has release me like dove
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October 9, 2018 So is loving her really a sin Damn i just can’t get her off my mind Yeah i was i was blind Orjust stop time in my psychicky Yeah ‘cause me don’t likey At all ‘Cause.she doesn’t call So she doesn’t care Or is she aware? Of how unfair She makes me feel For real Yeah i feel like dying Or crying But never lying Yeah even when… i’m forced to pretend So is loving her really a sin
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OCT 30,2018 THE UNIVERSE AND ME God, even in the storm I feel warm Like cooked corn On a plate But wait, don’t forget the steak And the sweet tea Oooowee Lord, you love me As much as the sea And a oak tree Planted on this planet And i don’t take that for grated No, not even for a minute Yeah so Father send it Your love, i mean Yeah continue to make me feel like … a real queen Yeah keep on making my life seem… like a dream my king
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I HAVE BEEN READY TO GO I have been waiting almost 40 years To walk like a normal person And am i hurting? Yes, there is a lot of emotion stress But guess what I will not give up Yeah until i get unstuck From cerebral palsy And able to walk and run Like the holy son Who is still to come… Back Yes i just wanna go around a track At least one time While i’m still in my prime
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DECEMBER 24, 2018 REAL COMPLEX man, will i ever stop craving romance? or a slow dance? or a slow kiss? man, i hate feeling like this which is alone with no phone calls or no text or no sex but my life is.still real... complex
Claire Brooks
DIRTY MINDS THINK ALIKE my mind is not dirty no, it is pure for sure yeah i just want to be love and to feel real... secure in someone's arms yeah sometimes i would like to be treated like charm and get a warm embrace yeah i would love to have a smile on my face and for my heart to race while standing in place but it's like guys see me with some invisible mace and just vanish without a trace and that really hurts yeah it make me feel like dirt so wait, maybe i do have a dirty mind but it's all because of you boohoo DECEMBER 26. 2018
Claire Brooks
VERSE BY VERSE
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JANUARY 1,2019 W is for WORSHIP God i worship you Whenever my hand is writing And that is so exciting to think of it that way Yeah like play So my day can go by quicker And so my heart won’t be sicker Yeah well at least that is how it feels To be in real relationship with you Yeah so keep on pulling me through Or pulling things out of me Yeah even if i can’t not see How it is supposed to be At the time Yeah make me rhyme In all kinds of ways Yeah in reds, blues and grays
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A is for adore Alright Almighty I will adore you If you like Yes day and night With or without sight Yes fly me like a sky To Heaven In my spirit Yes your voice I long to hear it strongly So please talk to me Because i adore you
Claire Brooks
L is for LOVE God you are love Yeah you are gentle like a dove And mental like a brain Yeah that is the definition of your name Yeah living rain Which growing which is grain In a field Which real Like a mill So i must trust And be still My love My heart My brand new start
Claire Brooks
K is for KINDNESS I see kindness Yes even in my blindness Because I hear you through the fear And then my vision becomes clear Yes when i listen I hear the wind Yes i hear my friend Or my kin It sounds so kind In my mind
Claire Brooks
I is for INSPIRE I will inspire Yes i will be on fire For a higher purpose Yeah Papa which is you Who brought me through And made me new And improved Yeah i once was rough But now i’m smooth
Claire Brooks
N is for Nourish Nourish myself Yeah nourish my breath Until my death Nourish others Yeah be a lover But not uncover But in the open Yeah leave them hoping And not just coping
Claire Brooks
G is to Give Give my heart Give my mind Give my time Give my all To this call Called life For Christ And for Earth Yeah my birth has worth Out of this world
Claire Brooks
THE THRONE OF GRACE As i wash my face I see the throne of grace Yes as i run this race I see the throne of grace In front of me So no worries Just wonders So no i’m not going under Yeah even in the thunder I’m protect Because Jesus was resurrected And put on the throne Yeah looking over right and wrong And still working on his will down here So who shall i fear And no sad tears Shall i cry Yeah because my Lord can’t lie
Claire Brooks
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